How I Protect My Emotional Well-Being as a Leader
It’s my birthday this July 20! I’ve made it an annual tradition to do an “inner celebration” during my entire birthday week by bringing more presence to my emotional needs. I focus on what I appreciate in my life and what I want to manifest more of. I love myself for how much I’ve grown.
And sometimes, like this week, I make empowered choices to let go of things or people that are no longer in alignment with my highest good and well being.
Your emotional needs as an entrepreneur are incredibly important to your success and fulfillment. Here’s a glimpse at how I’ve navigated this deep inner journey while I grow myself as a person and business leader.
I’m a Type Three on the Enneagram, which means achievement is a very important value to me. I’m focused on my goals, and I’m dedicated to excellence in everything I do. I’m passionate about helping others, lifting them up as I rise. I’m always growing towards the best I can be, and I’m great at inspiring others to do the same.
The challenge of being this type is that it’s easy for me to become a Human Doing more than a Human Being. I make a conscious effort to slow down and create more awareness about HOW I am showing up. This does not come naturally to me - I’m much more inclined to measure the value of my time by how much I accomplish.
When I start thinking, “What did I check off my to-do list today?” I follow with, “How did I feel today?”
Because how I feel as I’m moving through this life is more important than outcomes.
This is a major life lesson of Type Threes! And for anyone who can relate to being an overachiever.
So my gift to myself is a very spacious week with no business meetings. I’m easing into some content creation that comes from inspiration. I’m enjoying self care. I have a 2-hour massage coming up and a fun belly dancing class.
I’m also enjoying extra quality time with my daughter. I see us dancing on the beach with the ocean waves lapping at our feet. My precious moments with her bring me the greatest joy.
As I complete my 42nd year, I’m more aware of how limited my time is. It’s a gift with an expiration date, and we don’t know when that date is.
So I make the most of my time by consciously creating the life I want. I can’t control what other people do, but I can control how I react and who I let into my life.
As an entrepreneur, it’s essential to protect my emotional well being so I can show up clear and strong in my leadership. And frankly this is essential for anything I do outside of work!
I’m a very sensitive empath. It’s a strength and a vulnerability that allows me to be of greater service to others. It also means I need extra protection because I feel things so deeply. A wrong-fit person in my life can be a huge distraction unless I prioritize my needs.
So this week, I’m honoring myself by…
Acknowledging that I’m a great mom.
I love my daughter more than anything. I tell her all the time, and I show her as well. She receives an abundance of attention and joyful effort from her mama. She is fully supported in living her best life and shining as her true authentic self. We have a deep bond, even deeper than the mother daughter connection, that tells me we’ll be close friends as she gets older.
She’s a remarkable, bright, kind, and strong person - there aren’t enough adjectives to describe her awesomeness! One of the best things I can do for her is appreciate her for who she is (not imposing my expectations onto her) and nurture her to become more of who she wants to be.
I don’t have a partner to tell me I’m a great mom. I have a narcissistic ex who lacks the respect, integrity and kindness to be a true co parent. He’s someone I have to deal with on a minimal level to take care of our child, however he’s more concerned with criticizing and undermining me than doing what’s in the highest good for our divided family. I’ll never receive appreciation from him, and I’ve had to learn to accept that.
Another choice I’m making for myself is channeling my anger into empowered action.
I’ve felt so much rage at my daughter’s father for his abuse - shit he’s done to me that would make your jaw drop. I have lived through telenovela-level drama that will end up in a book one day. It has weighed down years of my life with turmoil and stress. Most of it has been resolved, thankfully, and I have faith that truth and light always win eventually.
I have a few more steps to take to achieve justice with him, but I am choosing to take those with peace and perseverance. I’m choosing to step out of the anger spirals when they start dragging me down. My ex will never be the partner or co parent I deserve. I sincerely hope he doesn’t hurt our daughter with his selfishness and deceptiveness. The best I can do is hold healthy boundaries and regulate my emotions so I can be a healthy parent.
I’m consciously choosing to enjoy time with friends who truly see me and bring positive energy into my life.
I really don’t have time for people who criticize and judge me. Even if they do it silently, I can feel their bad vibes. My intuition is too strong to ignore them. So they can either self-select out of my world, or I will let them go.
My sister recently cut me off. While it was initially surprising and painful, I soon realized it was for the best. She has never liked me, and I’ve never felt seen by her. When I was a child, my father literally told me to tone down my light so I wouldn’t overshadow her. While I doubt she would admit it, I feel she’s been deeply jealous of me for most of her life.
And she’s been open about her contempt. She has berated me and judged me with violent communication. She almost never apologizes for her words. In the past few years I have tolerated her limited presence in my life, faking nice, so that our children could play together. I love my nieces, and yet I have been afraid to get too close to them knowing my relationship with my sister was unstable.
Well we can finally stop pretending with each other, which feels relieving. I just exhaled deeply writing this.
I hope I will find a way for our kids to see each other without having to socialize with my sister. I trust it will work out because my daughter has very strong manifesting powers! I have struggled with guilt over how this will impact my daughter, but at the end of the day, I come back to my well being. I need to protect it in order to show up as the best parent for her.
It does her no good to see a mom who is sacrificing her happiness and health. By holding onto negative relationships, what would I be teaching her?
I want to teach her to respect and love herself by having healthy boundaries and reserving her energy for people who truly deserve it.
It’s difficult to share these vulnerable truths. But I want you to know there’s a much deeper emotional journey to navigate as you grow yourself and your business. The two go hand in hand as you step into higher levels of leadership. You need to align yourself for these higher levels if you want to thrive as a conscious entrepreneur.
I believe the true success of life isn’t measured by money. It’s in the quality of our relationships. I receive so much fulfillment supporting right-fit clients, seeing them create exciting growth, both inside and out. I feel deeply grateful for my supportive team and colleagues who I have the pleasure of collaborating with.
My daughter is my greatest blessing. And my youngest sister brings sweetness and unconditional love along with her many eccentricities and growth edges. I have several longtime friends as well as an expanding group of new friends. We appreciate and support each other. True friends who have your back are lasting treasures.
While I haven’t met him yet, I know in my heart my true life partner is going to show up in my life soon. My daughter drew a picture of a “boyfriend” for me, and asked me if I want to get married again. I told her that I’m very happy without a partner, and I would like one as long as he’s the right person for me. So we’ll see what happens. I’m choosing patience and self-love, enjoying my life as it unfolds.
